Friday, November 25, 2011

------

继昨晚痛哭后,
今天起来我的头异常的痛,眼也很肿。
所以在很没志气之下,决定逃课。

昨晚也没做到功课,所以决定不去见老师。

我知道我很懦弱。
一点小事就击倒我。
可是,我也不想交代那么多。
还是去做我想要做的东西比较好。
人生啊,
你自己都不知道几时会结束;
倒不如我活得开心点,
尽量去做自己想要做的事呗~

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Just an ordinary girl

Perhaps you would know about my story if you were reading on my previous previous posts.


I have a father. But he is not with me anymore. Not because he is dead, but he chose to leave us. Abandoned us for almost 10 years.


Few days ago, after so many years, he suddenly called me and ask me how good im doing recently. I answered: "not good. Im not doing good. Im sick."
Then all of the sudden his 'cares' and 'love acting' come to me. Whoahh!! I straight away whatsapp my boyfriend and told him: "my father called me just now. I think i will kena loteri today." LOL


U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E


He called me again just now when i was talking phone with my boyfriend. At last, I chose not to answer his call. Not because i dont wish to talk with him. Its just i dunno how can i face with a person that i loved so much before but he abandoned me for soooo many years. Suddenly come back and 'concern' about me so much after get to know im sick?


Why? Why only you do this after you know im not well. Why wont you do this few years back? I was always hoping you can come back someday.


But not for now anymore. My mom found HIM. And we are having a stable life. Im 'glad' that you are actually 'concern' about me by wasting your time and money to call me. If it is so, i wish you can help me to pay back my study loans. Pay for my bro's study fees later. That will be fine. And i think i 'might' forgive you.


Im just an ordinary girl who needs love. I mean, a lot a lot of lovessss. I still wish to get attention, cares and love from my father like a little girl. There is still blood bind between us. Nothing can cut the bond and no one can ever deny it. And that's why i still cannot scold you by face to face even though, i wished.


Im just an ordinary girl, who wish she'll have a father stay beside her all the time, pampered her like a little princess.




P/s: thanks to someone who seems like can read through my mind. Perhaps i will not cry so bad if you didnt point out and 'help' me to sound out all those words from my heart. I feel better after cry like crazy. Thanks with love.


I still dunno what should i do. morlahhhhh~~~

Monday, November 21, 2011

顿悟

刚刚在挤黑头的时候,
突然间联想到一个人生哲学。

“每个人都会有出头的一天,
就像黑头最终都是会被挤出来,
关键是在于你有没有与要不要把它挤出来。”

我觉得我很神咧~
一粒黑头竟然被我想到这个东西。

不过,话说,
最近我顿悟的东西实在是太多了。
有些,
我还整理不出对的语法可以分享出来。

人生啊,
还是需要经历过什么,
你才会懂得什么。

Last Minute

I really seriously still living in last minute's group. @.@

How I wish I can quit from this group. But I know, all I do is just wasting time to surf internet, fb-ing, weibo-ing, twitter-ing, blogging, youtube-ing and blah blah..

When I think of assignments, 
"aiya, I still left 3days. Sure can gao dim de la.."
When I think of fyp,
"aiya, I still left one week. Sure I can gao dim de la.."

In fact, I really can gao dim within the dead-line. But with a so-so outcome. 
I wish, I can be those can sit in front of the pc, and can concentrate on their assignments without doing others non-related to assignments' stuffs. 
I wish, I can be those can sit on the chair whole day and concentrating on their study for the exam few days later without separate their mind from the notes and books.

How I wishhhhhh~~~~

Haiz, I know I must do something to change myself. But how??!!!
I just don't feel like doing anything if it is about assignments and studies.
I just wanna play more, eat more, sleep more, be with the people I love more.
Others I just dun wish to give a damn on them!

Last minute!! Last minute!! Last minute!!!

Why there are so many dead-line in our life?
Will it better with an end-less life??

Sunday, November 20, 2011

20.11.2011

今天的却是一个特别的日子。20号11月2011年。
就好象11日11月2011年一样。
都是只有一次。


我和大家一样,都很想和自己最爱的人渡过这一天。
奈何,我身在upm里。
与家人分开;
与男朋友相隔。T__T


所以,到最后还是忍不住地向在远方的他投诉。
为什么我们不能一起渡过这一天?
为什么我们要分开地远远?
我很想跟你渡过每一天。


他回答说:我也知道今天是个很特别的日子。
为什么我们不能一起庆祝那么多节日?
11.11.2011也不能和你一起。
不过,我不理啊~
还有一个,也是最后一个,
就是12.12.12,
还有20.12.2012。
这些是最后一次了。
以后没有了的啦。
要珍惜哦~
你要健康生活下去,
等到明年我们就可以一起甜蜜了。
嘻嘻
(以上的对白都是从英文翻译,所以与原文有点不一样.)

其实,这就是所谓的甜言蜜语吧~
他平时也是这样的~
只是这一次听起来比较不一样,
他叫我要stay well well,
我看到的时候,
眼泪差一点要滚出来了。

p/s:你放心啦,
我一定会很健康地生活。
然后我们会一起到老。

还有一句,
其实我们真的应该像珍惜今天一样地去珍惜每一天。
(可是我觉得我不想珍惜有assignment的日子)
真的应该把今天是生活里的最后的一天来生活,
那么你真的会发现很多不同。

最后,
20.11.2011
就是在Upm宿舍渡过。
在一堆功课陪伴中渡过。

Friday, November 11, 2011

感触良多

这两位就是我从小看到大的两位弟妹。

那天,不知怎么的,突然想起了我弟弟小时候没有牙的样子。
真的很可爱。

最近,好像一直都回想以前我们小时候的事。
他们小小个就被看到现在,看到他们长大了,我自己也觉得很欣慰。
竟然有想哭的感觉。T___T

我想必我妈咪看到我毕业的那天,一定更加感触。

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

我其实很不好

我只想做个简单的人
没有烦恼
无忧无虑的生活

我其实,
真的很不好。。。。。。。

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

不吐不快

突然有话想说,虽然这是上个星期的事了,可是还是很想上来写下来。


话说,我们stress老师在第一个星期就让我做一个assignment,叫做self-analysis。
这份功课就必须写下我们觉得我们经历过最stress的事件,而且要很好的表达出我们怎样去面对。


看到这个题目的时候,我脑海了别无他想,就是决定写了这个我觉得影响我一生的事件。
【其实这件事我在我的部落格有写过,不过我懒得找出来】


然后,就在上个星期,老师把我们的assignment派回来,说是有个make-up test。要我们把我们学过的theory apply在自己的经历上。然后,她还一个一个地叫我们出去。


轮到我的时候,老师先问候一下我的心情。原来老师被我的故事吓到了。
她说当她读到我写到‘我恨他’的那段,她被吓到了。


老师问了很多问题,也给了我很多忠告。
她还说:不要因为你的过去而影响你对男人的判断。这对其他男人很不公平。并不是每个男人都是那样的。
她问:如果他回来,你还会接受他吗?(其实我没有直接回答老师这题,我只是回答说我讨厌他。)


其实我被老师点醒的一句话是她说:你看起来很强。你自我保护意识很强。而且,她很好奇我是怎样在那种环境下长大。强调一下,她说的长大不是可以活到现在,而是可以很努力的进到大学,现在已经在最后一年了。


就是因为这番话,我在发觉原来有其母,必有其女。我弟妹们也是一样。都还是乖乖的。大多数因为离异而成为单亲家庭的孩子们都是问题少年少女。所以,我真的很庆幸。


她还说:你太自我保护,会导致你在感情路上有些障碍。
我连忙点头地告诉老师:是的。我经常性都会对着男友数着他跟我爸爸很像。通常都是缺点。然后我男友就会嚷着很不公平。


其实,与老师短短的对话。我觉得释怀很多。
觉得好像有人可以了解我,读得懂我在想什么。
知道我所做的一切,都是因为我经历了什么,才会这样的。


不过,话说回来。我最近好像弱了很多。或许是我找到了我觉得可以依靠的人吧~
希望你不会让我失望吧~




注意:我的自我保护意识不会减低。因为我怕自己被伤害。

Sunday, November 6, 2011

我爱我的家

This post is going to spam a lot of pichasssss ^^


I went to my brother's convocation dinner on last Thursday. 
Nothing much I will say about the dinner. But just to share those tons of picha we took on tha day ^^ 
Here we go~
It's my look on that day. Was trying to make curly hair by myself. But failed. 

My sis, Lynn. Grow mature. Lol. But still, pretty! ^^
My youngest sis, Sheryn. Grow alotsa fats. HAHA! But, still cute and adorable. ")

This is my bro, Zack. Very leng cai~ HAHA! Seriously! (if his skin condition get better.)

This is my aunt with me. Pretty woman ^^

with the main character of my family that day~
The singer of the day! Lot and my sis. Their performance was awesome. *support*

3 of us~ 
My lovely sis~

Okay, there would be alots of crazy self-taken picha of 3of us~ ^^







Such a long time I never have gather with them. I love them and i missed them. 

家,永远是最好的避风塘。
虽然帮不到你解决任何烦恼。
但,你可以感受到他们的支持。
是世上最宝贵的无价宝。

我爱你们!







Saturday, November 5, 2011

I NEED A CHANGED!

I'm that kinda of person who do things last minute. 

I dunno why. Even though I know the dead-line is almost reached, but I still couldnt found any motivation to start my fyp. 

Gosh! My friends almost done, I guess. At least, half on the way. 

I'm really frustrated with myself. I hate this kind of attitude. But I just cant help it. I dunno how to change myself. 

Arrgghhh!! I need a changed!! DAMMIT!!!!